Being an introvert is sometimes hard. Aside from the fact that I have only a few close friends (so far) living in a different country for a few years, most of them are sometimes busy to simply catch up, have coffee, or have lunch somewhere. Worst of all, this endless stream of second guessing and doubting whether they really want to see me or not drives me nuts. Used to drive me nuts, insane, and whatever name you can call it. Most people would just be okay with it, but oftentimes introverts would be inundated with internal questions and statements like, “Is he or she really want to see me?”, “Is he or she gonna cancel again?” And as soon as they cancel, the “I knew it!” thought comes immediately. I really hate it when that happens, it’s because it seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I also knew I don’t have any control over it anymore because it has already happened. The decision has already been made.
Years ago, I would’ve never thought of this. I would’ve continued ruminating until it ruined my entire day and be moody, snappy, and upset. To be honest, it makes me sad a bit about this current situation I experience with a friend, but have to move on as quickly as possible. As the years gone by, the more I realize it’s such a waste of time and head space ruminating over what already happened, the more compassionate I get with treating myself, knowing that this too shall pass. It’s very important to know how to handle circumstances beyond your control. Instead of sending a text, email, or calling them to point it out and complain, I need to get on the high road and focus on doing other stuff that are more productive to my brain and more healthy to my overall well-being. Eat much better food instead of going for the chips and ice cream and all other sugary sweet highs. My secret hope and prayer is that despite this temporary setback, at some point we would still yearn to see each other again and catch up.
I recently read this wonderful article in Psychology Today about how to manage rumination better. And so I’m sharing this with you in the hope that you also get to understand yourself more.
Now off to experiencing a better life.