Many people have written about the things you need to let go of in order to be happy. My favorites so far are from Luminita Saviuc of PurposeFairy.com (the online and YouTube video versions) and Ashley Fern of EliteDaily.com. But after letting go of the negative things, doesn’t it follow that you want your life to be filled with the good? And so here are what I believe you should send an invite.
1.) Yourself as Your Own Best Friend
Diane von Furstenberg said it best in her book “The Woman I Wanted to Be” about having a relationship with yourself. Loving yourself comes before loving other people. To love yourself is to feel comfortable in your own skin, in your own choices, even your own quirks.
How to love yourself? First, ask help from the Universe how you can start loving yourself. You will then be led to whichever way you absorb information best. Videos, articles, chance meetings with other people. You may be drawn to write a diary. You may be encouraged to create something. Be open to however your questions will be answered, even those you didn’t expect.
Knowing yourself fully can help you assess which habits you’d like to keep on doing and which ones you’d like to improve on. It’s always good to remind yourself of your own great attributes and qualities. By doing this, you stop your own cycle of comparison shopping with other people and eventually accept who you are. It will also lead to having a strong faith in yourself that everything will work out.
A few people have their own “Marry Myself” ceremonies, but you don’t have to make it grand. Simply set aside a quiet time for however long you like, and ask “I’d like to invite you, my mind, my spirit, and my soul to be my own best friends. Will you accept my invitation?” I’m sure they will all say Yes. Then you can ask for closure on things you are still holding on to, and invite them to help you release yourself from the emotional baggage.
Being curious means you are interested to learn or know more about something or someone. I bet that when we were kids, we used to have many questions about almost anything and that we may have done things simply on the basis of being curious. But as we grow older and have more responsibilities, these are placed at the back burner and never revisited for a long time, until something major happens and we may need to take stock of things. No matter where you’re at in life, you can still act upon what you used to be curious about. Don’t be afraid to ask someone for advice about something. Be bold to accept help if necessary. As author Elizabeth Gilbert of “Eat, Pray, Love” and “The Signature of All Things” said in one of her talks at the Life You Want Weekend in the United States, following your passion is great advice if you already have a clearly defined purpose in life. Otherwise, follow your curiosity first because eventually it will lead to your passion.
In this increasingly modern world, it’s more important than ever to follow your instincts or intuition. If you have hunches about a few situations or people before, even a feeling that there’s something wrong that will happen, but you chose to ignore them, what happened after? How did that make you feel?
What I do know about intuition is that if it gives you a suggestion, it doesn’t explain why you need to do it. It just says a statement or two and that’s it. Practicing your intuition is similar to exercise; you have to flex its muscles and practice following the advice promptly so you get more in tune with it. I refer to intuition as the voice of God, the Universe, or the angels.
You might be wondering how to differentiate between intuition and some other voices in the head. If the voice is kind and gentle even when making suggestions, and also makes you feel calm and relaxed, that’s intuition. If it’s negative, making your spirit shrink, then it’s not intuition. There are many authors who discuss intuition in detail, such as Sonia Choquette, Lynn A. Robinson, and Doreen Virtue, and I do suggest reading their books.
You need to treat yourself kindly and be affectionate towards yourself regularly. There’s no point berating yourself when committing mistakes and also when things get out of your control because by doing so, psychologically it makes you commit the same mistakes over and over again. When you are compassionate to yourself, however, it’s easier to be kind to other people, no matter what their skin color, beliefs, gender preference, body size, choice of clothing or style. It’s easier to talk to people when you don’t have any preconceived notions in your head about them. Also, you become more patient with yourself and other people, encouraging them to do their own thing.
This means you crave consistency in manifesting your dreams and goals into reality, in loving yourself regularly, in doing the things that invigorates and nourishes your mind and soul, in being organized on all aspects of your life including finances, in staying healthy, and many others. Commitment takes action, motivation, and determination to win positively no matter what. If you want to stay committed on a goal, find out first why you want to achieve it in the first place. Let’s say you want to do yoga regularly but don’t know where to start or you don’t have enough money to attend yoga classes. Find anyone online who offers free yoga classes and start doing it 30 minutes per day for the next 20 to 30 days. When you’ve done that, you can then do another thing, for example meditation, together with the first one you’ve already done. You can then build on new habits on top of existing ones and consistently do them. Be patient with yourself though when establishing new habits so it’s easier to transition, and reward yourself with something tangible along the way to encourage you to stay on the right track.
6.) Positive Vibes/Happiness
Always search for the bright side of your own life. Express appreciation for all the opportunities, the things you own, the family and friends who still stick by you, the job (whether it’s your passion or simply a transitional one), the money saved, the good and bad experiences, the lessons you learned from all situations. Learn to appreciate even the unanswered prayers, the disappointments, hurts, pain, frustration, unreached expectations, and let go of them. When you do this, more positive things will come in your life since your spirit has more than enough room for them.
When you decide to forgive, you will move on faster. To forgive yourself and other people is to free yourself from all the negative and often destructive emotions associated with it. So start deciding to forgive now. Don’t wait for the other person to forgive you because that may not happen in your lifetime. Draw lessons from it, then move on to much better things.
“Invite blessings into my life?” Yes, you can indeed invite blessings into your life! The best example is the Prayer of Jabez. In 1 Chronicles 4:1o NIV, it says “Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.” Another is based on the ancient Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui. There are various items you can put around the house, or rearrange the things to encourage more wealth and happiness into your life. You can also choose to invoke the Hindu gods and goddesses, particularly Lakshmi and Ganesh, because they also signify wealth.
9.) Friendships that help you become a better person
It’s time to reassess your friendships if you haven’t done already. One of the things to know if your friendships are worth keeping is if they bring you joy, energy, enthusiasm, life, and light. If they do, then keep in touch with them. If the others constantly bring you down and drain your energy, then it’s time to let them go. If you have to unfriend them from your social media circles, then do so. Don’t be afraid. In the end, they may not notice it anyway. For other tips, this article will help you.
You are responsible for your own happiness, and you are also accountable for the outcome you want in life. And so start making choices that gear towards whatever it is that make you happy. Whether it’s going on an overseas trip, starting a blog or your own business, creating your own stuff, start doing it now. Start with small goals first so it’s much easier to move on to bigger goals. Do a few small goals every day to build momentum. Once you get used to it, you can then move on to doing bigger ones.
11.) Flow of Life
Things will happen which are out of our control, most especially if we didn’t plan or prepare for them to occur. In New Zealand, there’s this strong belief of Murphy’s Law, which states that “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” When we start accepting that the flow of life includes the downsides as well as the upsides, then it will be easier to navigate through.
A reasonable amount of fear is there to help protect us, but if you use it as an excuse to not do anything, you might be wishing years later that you should have at least tried. In order to build courage, you need to do things that scare you. Do one thing at a time if you feel overwhelmed. Commit to letting go of fear by simply taking action on the very thing you fear. Because most of the times, the things that scare you may turn out to be better than you expected.
If you have the tendency to be jealous of other people’s success, realize that they have worked hard to achieve what they have now. When a jealous feeling comes, say a quick prayer to help you transform them into more positive feelings to help fuel your own goals so you get busy tending to your own garden, your own green pastures. The more you get busy blooming where you are planted, the more you think of your life as really great, you have no more time comparing yourself to others.
NOTE: This article was originally published through the Two Monkeys Travel blog in March 2015, with changes in the order of photos where I felt it best to place within the article.